


Since Oh Sehun (SOS)

by hoe_sehoon, twinflamedfest



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 01:58:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16588577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoe_sehoon/pseuds/hoe_sehoon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinflamedfest/pseuds/twinflamedfest
Summary: Author's note: Special thanks to my beta for being patient with my mistakes. Also thanks to all the readers who read and commented on this story. Hope you liked reading this fic!





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: Special thanks to my beta for being patient with my mistakes. Also thanks to all the readers who read and commented on this story. Hope you liked reading this fic!

 

Luhan was stuck in a spectrum; not a rainbow but a forgettable boring grayscale spectrum that no one ever appreciated. He thought college life was going to be different. He figured it would be much more exciting than his lame ass high school days. He wanted to meet new interesting people, partake in exciting experiences. He was a writer within his soul and he always looked at the world with the eyes of an appraiser. After all, finding rare unique gems of inspiration was not a task for the unwary.

Summer vacation had been a fruitful time, and Luhan found a lot of beautiful sights that invoked such great ideas in his brain. He would walk for hours to unknown places, to isolated regions and then sit down right in the middle of the road to scribble his thoughts down. It was a surprise that he didn't get hurt, despite his habit of forgetting about the world.

Alas, all that glorious inspiration stopped abruptly since his first day at the new university. Now two weeks in, Luhan still hadn't touched his pen and journal. He asked himself what the purpose of his life was if he couldn't write. What was the difference between him and an ordinary student at the university if he could not create something beautiful using his words? The slump was sucking the life out of him and the late summer sun was not helping. The seasons had clearly shifted and it felt like the peak hot season.

"Yah! Go away! Take a vacation down south!” his best friend Baekhyun screamed at the blazing sun while Luhan whimpered next to him. They were sitting outside on the bench during lunch hour but Luhan couldn't eat a single bite out of his sandwich. It was too hot and his life was meaningless.

"You will get over your writer's block," Baekhyun assured him, “it's just a phase. Don't behave like your life is over."

_He is right…_ Luhan sighed but the feeling was simply too frustrating. Luhan pulled up his cotton tee to cover his head and drank big gulps of water.

People around him were enjoying the weather way too much for Luhan's liking. The girls wore their little booty shorts and looked as flawless as ever. Luhan wondered how they didn't so much as break a sweat while Luhan looked like he was fresh out of a shower. Some of the guys, the jocks to be precise, decided that wearing their tees was too much of a hassle. It's mighty convenient to walk around half naked when you have eight pack abs. Luhan thought about how his own physique was not unlike a stick figure drawn by a little kid.

"Whoa! Who dat who dat who dat boy~" Baekhyun whistled next to him and Luhan peeked out from the pitiful sunshade he had created with his tee.

_A beautiful spectrum of rainbow colors…_ Luhan's eyes sparkled as he looked at the tall muscular treat who was running along with his jock friends.

"That's Kim Jongin," Chanyeol, Luhan's other best friend, drawled on in a bored voice. “He is the hottie of this stupid university."

"Well, this university just got a little less stupid thanks to him.” Luhan mumbled.

Jongin was a beautiful tan God with defined muscles and a smile that could melt the coldest person into submission. Luhan felt like Jongin could do nothing wrong in this world. How could he when he looks like that?! Unlike his friends, he was still wearing his sports jersey, but it was utterly soaked since he and his friends had been running around in the sun. Off came the tee and Luhan's jaw dropped to the ground. In that moment, he knew he wanted this sculpted angel to belong to him.

Luhan was so caught up in Jongin's beauty that he failed to realize what a sour face Chanyeol had been carrying around, not eating a single morsel of food and groaning constantly.

"What are you so crabby about?" Baekhyun asked Chanyeol while chewing on a carrot.

"I lost all my savings from my summer job," Chanyeol cried which finally made Luhan look away from Jongin.

"What?!" Both Luhan and Baekhyun spoke in unison.

"Yes, Voldemort took it away," Chanyeol wiped his eyes.

_Ah, Voldemort…_ Who could forget the other end of the spectrum, the murk at the bottom of the pond? Oh Sehun, the university bully, brought darkness to this world that could not be cleansed with any amount of goodness. He was the typical delinquent followed by his posse of idiots who brought nothing but disgrace to their names. He was popularly known as Voldemort for the dark aura that he and his clique possessed.

“Someone should report them," Luhan patted Chanyeol's back. “They steal from and bully every new kid that enters this university."

"Who would do that?" Baekhyun said, angrily. “Everyone is so scared of him."

Oh Sehun also had superhuman strength and there were some unbelievable accounts of his assaults circulating in the school. Some assumed he could hurt you with a touch of his finger but mostly his piercing gaze was enough to beat weak-minded people into submission.

To Luhan, he merely seemed like a plain old coward who had the mannerisms of an uncultured animal.

"He better not mess with me," Luhan said, massaging his wrists," I swear to God, I will-"

"Serenade him to death?" Baekhyun teased and it made Chanyeol laugh out loud. Luhan glared at his best friend but kept quiet because it seemed to cheer Chanyeol up. A vivacious laughter caught his attention. The laughter of Kim Jongin purified his senses and Luhan knew nobody else, not even Oh Sehun could bring him down.

Luhan wanted to cry when Jongin accepted a bottle of water from one of the girls in booty shorts and started pouring it over his head. The water cascaded beautifully down from his soft cheeks to his sharp jaw, bouncing off the curves of his muscles, filling and emptying those gorgeous ridges until the bottle was empty. Luhan had a new inspiration, a new muse for his writings. He wanted to pick his pen and write a thousand love letters, a million songs for this gorgeous human being.

 

_I wonder if you would like me. Even a little is fine. I wish I were your lover but if I get to be a person who only gets to meet you once in my life, I wish for you to smile at me. I wouldn't and couldn't ask for anything more…_

Luhan bit his lip. Something was gravely missing. It felt like he couldn't express his true emotions properly. No matter, he would keep practicing every day. He believed in spreading his work, and there was nobody better than Jongin for whom he was writing these words every day.

Luhan knew what kind of competition he had for Jongin's attention. Jongin was a daily inheritor of gifts and such from his admirers. For Luhan's gift to stand out, it really had to be exceptional. Luhan knew it wasn't anywhere close to what he wanted to express. Luhan knew it was immature to get so caught up with Jongin’s aura when he hadn't spoken to him before. He just knew from the bottom of his heart that Jongin was someone special. Despite the fact that Jongin took over most of his heart & mind, love wasn't the only strong emotion that Luhan felt. Anger and vengeance were stemming from his soul in tandem, and Sehun was the cause for it.

Sehun's staple diet was vulnerable freshman students of whom he terrorized to no extent. Sehun resorted to all sorts of bullying methods except for extreme physical violence. Luhan wondered if Sehun used the seven deadly sins as his daily timetable. Luhan had been a victim of Sehun's cruelties few times himself. He grabbed Luhan's backpack in the hallway and threw it away a couple of times. One evening, he had mugged Luhan off his wallet and phone before locking him in a bathroom stall. Luhan screamed over and over but he couldn't get out of there until the next morning when the janitor showed up.

Luhan wasn't having any of Sehun's bullshit so he went straight up to the Dean and got the latter suspended for a few weeks. Sehun was enraged. Prior to this, he had no special hatred towards Luhan. However the moment Luhan reported him, Sehun put a mental red X on the latter's forehead. Luhan was going to lose everything that he owned. Sure enough, a week after Sehun's return, Luhan's entire locker was raided of its contents. Luhan knew it was Sehun, because who else could it be? However, he could never pin it on him because Sehun seemed to have vaporized into thin air and wiped off every little item from his locker.

The question was, why was Sehun such a bully? There were so many rumors about it. Nobody knew what kind of family he had. He had no friends, but he had a throng of faithful followers. Sehun used to deal with shady people on a daily basis to earn some easy money. Why? Nobody knew. Sehun was ultra-secretive and even his followers had no clue who he was outside of the university campus.

There was another rumor drifting around that Sehun was a vampire. Luhan was sure it was started by some delusional fangirl who compared Sehun's pale skin and huge dark circles to that of a fictional sparkly vampire.

_If anything, he sucks money and dignity from people instead of blood…_ Luhan thought irritably.

Luhan didn't bother himself with the likes of Sehun though. He was a minor insignificant complication Luhan had to endure for the next three years. Instead, Luhan was thinking further into the future. His future was Kim Jongin and Luhan could not lose focus of his dreams because of some delinquent.

 

"I have it!"

"What do you have?" asked an irritated Baekhyun.

"The perfect love confession…" Luhan's voice trailed as he read the letters on the paper.

_Calm and fresh like a soft breeze right after it rains and beautiful like the cloudy skies that stopped pouring their tears to reveal the warmest of sunlight…_

_I look at you and I feel composed; I want to stare at your smile… The beautiful bow of your lips trace the path of your laughter and lead me to your kind loving eyes._

_You're such a mystery to me. Your presence is so sunny but your mind is like a puzzle. Your voice makes me weak, yet your eyes make me weaker… I found myself coming back to you again and again; I don't know what is it about you that makes me want to talk to you. I want to listen to you as I look in your eyes, try to read those emotions that you have hidden in the back closet of your mind…_

_They say the saddest people smile the brightest. Is that why your smile overwhelms me every time?_

_I want to delve into the darkness of your heart and drop a pinwheel of light in that will last forever…_

_Don't be afraid; let those emotions spill out of your eyes. I promise to catch them in my palms and treasure each and every one of them._

"Wow, I really have it!" Luhan cheered, his voice echoing in the quiet library. A gust of shushes were blown his way but Luhan was oblivious to them.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and went back to reading the book in his hands. He wasn't too thrilled with Luhan's unhealthy fixation but at least he was writing again. He liked this version of Luhan better than the moping one. Currently, Luhan's eyes were sparkling and teary because he knew Jongin had to finally respond back to him. All the letters he had left for the latter were unanswered. Jongin did not spare a glance at Luhan. Luhan blamed his inability to express his emotions clearly on Jongin's lack of response. Luhan proudly signed his name at the bottom of the letter. Jongin would have no choice but to reach out to him now.

"Let's go Luhan, come on," Baekhyun picked up his books, "Chanyeol is playing with his band at the coffee place tonight."

"Oh, can we stop by Jongin's locker quickly?"

"Can't you wait until tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow is the weekend," Luhan swung his bag on his shoulders, “I want him to have it now, Baek!"

"Fine, you crybaby," Baekhyun groaned, "make it quick."

On their way to the locker area, Luhan started whimpering.

"What now?!" Baekhyun barked at him.

"I have to pee," Luhan spoke in a queasy voice.

"Ugh you seriously are going to make us late," Baekhyun yelled at him. “You know how nervous Chanyeol gets when he doesn't see us sitting on the front table."

"I know but I really need to go!"

"I am giving you 30 seconds to pee," Baekhyun gave his friend a hostile look," I won't wait any longer."

"But the letter-"

Baekhyun clenched his fists as Luhan timidly asked, "Can you drop it in Jongin's locker for me?"

"I have no clue where it is."

"It's right next to the fountain by the teacher's lounge," Luhan said, bouncing on his feet.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I really have to go!" Luhan stomped on the ground and Baekhyun knew he had no choice. He snatched the letter from Luhan with a sigh while Luhan dashed inside the bathroom to relieve himself.

Baekhyun found _a locker_ that was by the water fountain so he slipped the letter in there without a second thought. Running back to the bathroom, he grabbed Luhan by his arm and ran outside before the latter could further delay the situation.

 

Luhan was so proud of the letter he wrote that he was half expecting Jongin to knock on his door on the weekend, swoop Luhan in his arms and kiss him passionately. Luhan knew he had to stop watching those crappy high school movies with unrealistic characters but hey, a guy can dream…

He stepped into the university on Monday, hoping to see Jongin by the entrance waiting to receive him. Instead, he saw the eyes of every single kid directed towards him. Some of them sniggered blatantly, others did not even attempt to hide their judgmental faces. They were all holding a piece of paper in their hands and Luhan wondered what it was. He knew his attendance was abysmal but honestly was there any need to mock him so publicly for it?

"Luhan!" Chanyeol's voice called for him and he saw his awkward long-legged friend struggling to reach him amidst the throng of curious gazing kids.

"Is it true?" Chanyeol asked, catching his breath.

"Is what true?" Luhan was confused.

Chanyeol handed him the piece of paper that everyone else was holding and Luhan's eyes were round like two big tennis balls. It was the letter he had written for Jongin, the precious love confession that came straight from his heart.

"Where did you get this?" he asked his friend.

“So you did write it," Chanyeol whispered.

"It was meant for Jongin," Luhan whispered back. “Why is it being publicly displayed like this?"

"Beats me," Chanyeol dragged him out in the garden, "but somebody made copies of it and posted it all over."

Luhan couldn't feel his face out of embarrassment. All the eyes were still pointed at him and he would gladly give his right arm for them to stop staring and reading the words he had so carefully written for a person he adored.

"How did this happen?!" Luhan asked, distressingly," I made sure-"

Oh but he didn't. He wasn't the one who dropped that last letter in Jongin's locker.

"Where is Byun Baekhyun?" he spoke menacingly. Chanyeol gulped in return.

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask that."

"When I find him, I will-"

"Do nothing," Chanyeol warned him. "Do you think he is not embarrassed and worried about you?"

Luhan sighed because he knew he had to be the bigger person. "Where is he?"

Chanyeol took him to the back of the giant tree by the big grounds behind which Baekhyun was sobbing while curled up in a ball. One look at Luhan and Baekhyun was hugging him and slurring apologies. Luhan knew his friend didn't do it on purpose and told him not to cry.

"We will tell everyone it's not from you," Chanyeol offered.

"My name is on it," Luhan shook his head," Baekhyun, do you remember whose locker it was?"

"No idea," Baekhyun sniffled, "but I want to believe it wasn't Jongin."

Luhan's vision caught the beautiful boy playing football across the grounds with his friends. Jongin was an angel, there was no way he would hurt anybody. This had to be the work of someone vicious and unmerciful.

 

Luhan was still stumped about the identity of the asshole who received his letter. It had to be someone really spiteful because they had managed to use Luhan's letter as wallpaper for every fucking corner of the university area that they could find. Luhan was still receiving dirty judgmental looks from everyone which he did not like. Yes, it hurt to get sneered at but Luhan was only thankful that things were under control. He would hate to have his parents involved in this mess.

Luhan was now scared to write again. He was sure Jongin read the letter too; everybody in the university did, including the teachers. If Luhan were to write to him again, what will he think? Would he be happy or offended knowing that Luhan had written something for him? The whole incident had sort of stunted his boldness, his talent of thinking freely. He would reach for his pen and then put it back down.

Sighing, Luhan entered his boring physics labroom, dreading the long day ahead of him. He wished he could be invisible from all the peering eyes that followed each of his movements, and he kept track of who he was speaking to. He told himself that at least the day couldn't get worse but when Luhan reached his desk, he realized it was about to get much better than he expected.

"Hey sorry, is this your seat?" Jongin asked with a warm smile. "Can we share? I registered late for this class so all my friends are already paired up for lab sessions."

Luhan mumbled some illegible words which confused Jongin but he simply shrugged and moved to one side so that Luhan could sit down. Luhan bowed slightly before placing his books with shaky hands. Minutes passed as Luhan held his breath, why was he bold in his letters and not in real life? He did not dare to glance to his side and look at Jongin from this close. What if Jongin's gloriousness incinerates his being and renders him sightless?

"Excuse me," the object of Luhan's dreams called for him. Luhan shakily turned his head to look at the person he had fanciedall this while.

"My name is Jongin," the gorgeous boy held his hand out to shake Luhan's. The smile on Jongin's face paralyzed Luhan for a few seconds. Luhan fearfully stared at his fingers for a few seconds before holding them from under, in a completely non-handshake-y way.

"Umm…" Jongin watched the awkward exchange and suppressed his amusement when Luhan cowered in his seat.

"What's your name?" Jongin asked.

"..uha…"

"Eh?"

"Luhan," he finally managed to say.

"Oh you are the one who wrote that letter," Jongin snickered and Luhan was embarrassed. He heard Jongin having hysterics at his expense and felt a pit in his stomach. He was such a big joke.

"It was so well written!" Jongin exclaimed. "Honestly, whoever rejected your letter is insane."

"You think so?"

"Yes, totally," Jongin grinned, "I took a copy home to show it to my sister and she asked me if you were single."

Luhan giggled. "Thank you."

"How did you learn to write like that?" Jongin asked, curiously.

"Practice, lots of it," Luhan nodded, feeling less nervous. "I-I wrote some for you too…"

"You did?!"

"I-I…is that okay?"

Jongin was speechless and Luhan regretted letting on such a big secret when he was finally conversing with his crush. Although when Jongin smiled at him, Luhan felt a bit relieved.

"How many did you send me?" he asked and Luhan's cheeks turned a bright shade of pink.

"Once every week."

"You know, I get so many things from people every day," Jongin uttered, remorsefully, "I think I must have missed your letters."

"That is okay," Luhan smiled.

"Will you write me more?"

"I…will try…" Luhan blushed.

"I will look forward to it," Jongin winked and Luhan almost fell off his chair. He struggled with words and his breath was caught somewhere in his throat but thankfully the teacher entered the classroom at the same time. Luhan was barely listening to the lecture, he was very painfully aware of Jongin's presence who was sincerely taking notes.

_It's so easy for you to sit there unaffected while I wonder if every breath I take will bring me your scent. It sucks that you are unerringly nice on the inside too. It is unfair that your heart is as bright as your smile…_

Luhan couldn't say that he and Jongin were friends but they weren't strangers anymore. Luhan borrowed most of Jongin's physics notes because he could never focus in that class anymore. He felt like a creep, hugging Jongin's notes to his chest and whispering _I love you_ to them. Jongin was a kind, beautiful human being and Luhan was falling for him harder. On the other hand, Jongin's friends seemed to have some sort of inside joke about Jongin sitting with Luhan. They would point at him and stare a lot. Luhan was frankly pleased that Jongin did not share their riotous behavior.

He wanted to write Jongin another letter but he was suddenly so conscious of his writing. What if it was mediocre and Jongin didn't like it as much as the first one that he read? It was difficult — Luhan tried not to sound too fanboyish, but he had to find a perfect balance between admiration and composure.

Still, it wasn't enough to bring Luhan's spirit down and he kept working on improving his writings. Luhan smiled at the slight rain pattered over his umbrella as he hopped back home one evening. The dusk was setting in; the purple clouds swayed along with the soft wind on a canvas of pink sky. Luhan wished Jongin were with him that moment, under his umbrella and watching the beautiful view. He was sure Jongin was the kind to appreciate the beautiful shades of nature, the scant rain on cold evenings and enthralling sunsets by the beach. Luhan wondered if he would get to experience them with Jongin someday.

The tranquil atmosphere was ruined by screams coming from not so far. Luhan felt irritated; it seemed like some rowdy kids were scuffling in one of the inside streets. Luhan walked in the direction of the noise and sure enough, he understood why it was so noisy out there.

Oh Sehun seemed to be brawling with three other guys who were easily bulkier than him. Sehun was actually quite adept at fighting; his punches found the right spot every time and his body moved lithely as if he were dancing. Luhan watched them, hidden from a corner, amazed at Sehun's physical abilities and mesmerized by his actions. The guys looked older but Sehun had a lot of stamina as he sent them howling with a single punch. Luhan quickly took his phone out and pressed the emergency number to call the police. He whispered the address to the operator and quickly hung up, praying that help would arrive soon.

One of them managed to grab Sehun from behind, locking his arms but Sehun jumped up and flipped over their heads to release himself from their grip. Luhan gasped loudly which he regretted instantly when they spotted him lurking around.

"Hey kid, what are you doing here?" one of them yelled at Luhan. Luhan should have escaped but he was frozen solid by the enraged expression on Sehun's face.

"Run, you fool!" Sehun yelled at him. The one of the guys took advantage of this distraction and clubbed his fist solidly in Sehun's stomach. Sehun yelled and started coughing blood which made Luhan scream in anger. He charged towards these goons despite the fact he was much smaller in stature and started to swing his backpack at them. They managed to grab and immobilize him as he thrashed around. A bone shattering punch landed on his cheek and Luhan felt like he would faint. Thankfully, he heard the sirens approaching the area and was glad that he had the wits to call the police right when he saw the scene.

"Drop them and run!" one of them yelled, leaving Luhan and Sehun in the darkness. Luhan fell on his knees and sensed blood filling up his mouth. Some of his teeth had definitely come loose and the pain was so excruciating that he knew he won't stay conscious for long. He looked to his side to find Sehun lying on the muddy road, knocked out and blood speckling his pale skin.

'Se…hun…" Luhan tried to reach for him but found himself crumbling on the ground right next to Sehun. Luhan heard rushing feet approaching him right before the lights went out completely.

 

 

 

 

_End of part one._


	2. Part Two

When Luhan woke up, he felt like his body was lighter than a feather. His cheek was patched up, but to his surprise, he did not sense any pain. Luhan quietly thanked the painkillers for numbing the ache that he had felt not so long ago. The memories came flooding in as he remembered how he got hurt in the first place. He couldn’t believe that he actually tried to defend Sehun from a bunch of thugs. What was he thinking? It shouldn’t matter to him regardlessof what happened to Sehun.

_But wait, where is Sehun?_ Luhan sat up on his bed quickly.

“So you’re awake,” his mom’s stern voice acknowledged and Luhan gulped. He looked to his side to see her sitting on a foldable bed that she had set up in Luhan’s bedroom. Sehun was lying on it out cold with bandages covering his face. He was possibly patched up by Luhan’s mother whose glare was directed right at Luhan.

“Mom, listen I wasn’t causing trouble,” Luhan tried to explain, “Sehun was the one fighting them.”

“But you went in and tried to rescue him,” his mom affirmed angrily.

“Mom, just look at him,” Luhan pleaded, “I am not his best friend. I neverparticularly liked him but he could’ve died if I didn’t call the cops.”

His mom sighed. “Do you know who his parents are?”

Luhan shook his head and got off his bed. Sehun was sleeping peacefully and he almost looked non-threatening that moment. Sehun was still a kid despite his evil transgressions.

“He seems like a nice boy,” Luhan’s mom stated, gazing at him sadly.

Luhan chaffed, “Sure, nice like a tarantula. Has he been unconscious all this while?”

“Yeah, the medics said there was nothing to worry about,” Luhan’s mom confirmed, “he doesn’t have any broken bones but he needs rest. Did you notice his eyes?”

“What about them?” Luhan looked carefully.

“Dark circles,” his mom said, softly caressing Sehun’s hair, “it looks like this kid cannot sleep well at night.”

“He always had them…” Luhan conveyed, suddenly aware of his ignorance. He and Sehun had always felt like mortal enemies since the time they came face-to-face. Luhan couldn’t believe that he was feeling sorry for the school bully who did not bat a single eyelash when hurting and extorting others.

Luhan helped his mother tuck Sehun into a warm blanket. After she left the room, Luhan kept staring at Sehun’s motionless figure in the dark, concerned about him and also confused by the fact he was pitying Sehun. For whatever reason Sehun was fighting with those goons, it definitely did not look like the cause for it was world peace. Sehun looked to have stuck in a shady deal yet again and while he was capable of protecting himself, fighting three guys at once was not a smart idea.

Sehun stirred a little which interrupted Luhan’s thoughts. Sehun was whimpering, perhaps waking up a little because of the pain. Luhan got off his bed hesitantly as he saw Sehun clutching his stomach and gasping for breath.

“D-does it hurt?” Luhan breathed as he approached the latter.

Sehun simply nodded and bit his lip. His eyes were closed but tears slipped down from the corner of his eyes. Luhan was taken aback because Sehun looked so harmless that moment; possibly much younger and inexperienced that Luhan himself was.

Luhan dithered for a few minutes before touching Sehun’shair, trying to comfort him. Sehun’s breath became steadier as sleep took over and he relaxed with Luhan’s comforting touch on his forehead.

“Thanks,” he mumbled before passing out again. It shocked Luhan because he always thought Sehun was incapable of saying that word.

“Idiot, you have to get better tomorrow,” Luhan whispered, glad that Sehun couldn’t hear him.

 

Luhan decided to have an honest talk with Sehun the next day. Sehun seemed more welcoming when he was in pain and though Luhan hated the concern that he felt for latter, he had to act on it. He had to ask Sehun to stop doing this and find the right path. There are other righteous ways of earning money and Sehun did not appear like a person who would struggle so much without a cause.

However when Luhan woke up the next day, the bed next to his was empty. Luhan ran outside to ask his mother where Sehun was and she said he left before any of them could wake up. Luhan knew exactly how the next couple of days were going to play out.

Sure enough, after three days of absence, Sehun returned to the university. His first stop was Luhan’s locker where he grabbed the latter’s collar and pushed him against the wall.

“Who the fuck told you to defend me?” Sehun growls. “Moreover, you took me to your place to...do I don’t know what...”

“My mom brought you home,” Luhan rolled his eyes. “She could have let you rot in a jail cell, you rude-”

“Shut up! Did I ask you or her for help?” Sehun snarled. “Why did you have to poke your annoying nose in my business?”

“Sorry for interfering in your _business_ ,” Luhan hissed, incredulously, “but I called the cops on them, otherwise you would be dead, you moron. Why do you have a problem with that?”

“My problem is that you piss me off,” Sehun clenched his teeth and pointed at Luhan, “everything about you does. Your face, your eyes, your lips, your fucking sweet voice...”

“Whoa whoa, wait rewind!” Luhan held up his hands, “What did you say?!”

“Fuck you!” Sehun left his collar and stomped away.

“Is it crack? Do you smoke crack?” Luhan called after him but Sehun did not respond. The people in the hallways were staring at Luhan but he didn’t care anymore. Sehun was so selfish that he did not so much as thank Luhan or his mom for being thoughtful and considerate.

“Next time I find him being beaten up, I am going to leave him alone!” Luhan yelled to nobody in particular.

Oh Sehun was truly an insufferable human being.

 

“Are you friends with Oh Sehun?” Jongin asked him that day in the lab.

“Like hell,” Luhan rolled his eyes, “I tried to help him but he has a rod stuck up his ass. Didn’t want to thank me either.”

“Oh okay good,” Jongin nodded.

“Why do you ask?”

“I don’t want you hanging out with guys like him,” Jongin proclaimed, seriously. “He is trouble.”

“I know that,” Luhan blushed, “but I didn’t know you care so much about me.”

“I don’t!” Jongin exclaimed and then looked around. Luhan felt dismayed at Jongin’s reaction.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to corner you like that,” Luhan smiled, trying to appease the situation. Jongin did not respond, neither did he look at Luhan.

Luhan couldn’t help but feel sad about Jongin’s behavior. Was Jongin scared of being associated with Luhan? Was he making sure that his friends didn’t hear what he was saying? He understood that he and Jongin barely knew each other. They had an entire semester left to get to know each other. Jongin did look concerned when Luhan showed up at class with wounds on his face. He definitely had his heart in the right place, but Luhan pondered if Jongin would ever have romantic sentiments for him.

The only good part about this whole scandal was that Sehun did not bother Luhan again. Once Luhan’s friends comprehended that, they stuck with him in order to remain unharmed by the tyrant themselves. Sehun would not even walk on the same path as Luhan. Luhan thought it was unnecessary but also quite funny that people were starting to think that Luhan was now the one oppressing Sehun after the locker incident.

This distance from Sehun was actually helping his writing skills. He did not have that anger in him anymore knowing that he and Sehun were never to cross paths again. All he had to focus on was Jongin now and goddamnit that boy truly looked more gorgeous with every passing day.

Jongin was such a sweet presence to be around. He invited Luhan to hang out with him one Sunday to play some video games. Jongin’s friends were there too, and unexpectedly, Luhan had a great time with them. Sitting next to Jongin, shoulders touching and exchanging smiles was something Luhan had never genuinely imagined. Jongin’s friends were amazed at how good Luhan was at console games and they asked him to teach them his ways. Luhan ended up becoming friends with all of them by the end of the evening.

Jongin insisted that he walk Luhan back home and Luhan was flattered. It felt like the two of them could not stop smiling, like they had found an affection so precious in this weird little world. Before leaving, Jongin made him promise that he would hang out again. How could Luhan say no to him when it was all that he wanted?

Luhan strode up to his room and started writing straightaway. His mother’s calls for dinner fell on deaf ears as his pen moved on its own, imprinting heartfelt words on the paper. After he was done, Luhan couldn’t help but giggle. The day spent with Jongin had opened a reservoir of genuine emotions within him and he was glad to get it out in the most comprehensible words that he come up with.

Luhan knew he had to deliver the letter himself this time and he had to do it right. It didn’t matter that it was already so late at night and the fact that it was the weekend. He wanted Jongin to read this first thing the next morning, before the other crazies dropped off their knickknacks. Luhan knew it was risky but hell, it was for Jongin. Being this reckless did not scare Luhan.

“Where are you off to?” Luhan’s mother asked him suspiciously.

 “Just Baekhyun’s house,” Luhan grinned and ran out before his mom could protest. He would be back soon anyway since the university was so close to his home.

Ten minutes later, he was circling around the student center where all the lockers were located. He was hoping to find a window or some sort of opening that he could use to get into the building. Fate was undoubtedly being generous that day because Luhan came across an open door by the backside from where the janitors took out the trash. Luhan did not see anybody coming in or going out and figured that maybe they simply forgot to close it. He carefully made his way into the closet that led to the hallway. He knew the way to Jongin’s locker like it was his own. Luhan carefully tread through the passage, watching his back the entire time to make sure he wasn’t being followed. He only forgot to check his front as he bumped into a strong object.

“What the fuck?! Are you following me?” A malevolent voice asked and Luhan felt shivers run through his entire body. It was the last person Luhan wanted to see in really any situation. Oh Sehun was like a bad omen who came with his own whirlwind of trouble that effortlessly wrecked Luhan’s plans.

“I don’t know why you’re here,” Sehun gritted his teeth,“but you need to fuck off right now.”

“I could say the same to you,” Luhan argued, “and no, I am not following you. I have my own agenda, my own life that I won’t waste on following somebody like you.”

“Agenda,” Sehun jeered, “dropping off another love letter, are you?”

Luhan felt embarrassed but he wasn’t about to stand there and allow Sehun to insult him further. However, Sehun had other plans. He grabbed Luhan’s arm and started to pull him towards the open door. Luhan struggled and tried to hurt Sehun, but his ironclad grip and strength were simply unmatched. Luhan dug his teeth on Sehun’s hand that was holding his wrist and Sehun screamed in pain. They started to brawl in the dark corridor, but not for very long. Two strong hands grabbed their collars and pulled them apart from each other.

“I want to see you two in my office right now!” the Dean’s voice commanded before releasing them.

Luhan knew it couldn’t get worse than this.

 

“Suspended?!” Luhan yelled. Sehun sat next to him unfazed.

“For a week,” the Dean emphasized.

“This is not fair!” Luhan screeched, “I was not-”

“Luhan, do you want to be suspended for two weeks instead?” The Dean threatened and Luhan shut up immediately. His mom was called by the Dean and she was sitting there by the side, glaring at him. Luhan knew he would get a major ass whooping when he gets home. What’s more, Sehun looked like he didn’t spare a single flipping fuck about being suspended.

Suddenly the door of Dean’s office slammed open and a lady burst in. She was closer to the age of Luhan’s mother and yet she somehow looked much older and more fatigued.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for being late,” she expressed in a soft voice.

“Mrs. Oh,” the Dean sighed. “If you yourself cannot manage your life properly, how do you expect to handle this troublemaker?”

Mrs. Oh did not hold much resemblance to Sehun. She had a kind face and eyes that would sparkle if she got a good night’s sleep. She had a polite smile on her face regardless of knowing the fact that her son was in trouble again. Luhan was half imagining Sehun’s mother to be a drug addict who neglected her son completely. Mrs. Oh looked nothing like that.

She looked like she wanted to retort but she held her arguments in and asked, “What did he do now?”

“He broke into the University after hours to steal from his classmates’ lockers,” Dean stated, scowling at her, “I have suspended him for a week.”

“A week…”

“Yes and let me remind you,” the Dean stood up and leaned forward ominously, “this is the third time that he has been suspended. He is on wafer thin ice now. According the University rules, if he gets caught doing illegal stuff again, I will have to expel him. Do you understand?”

Mrs. Oh nodded, holding her tears in. Luhan looked at his mother who shared his concern with a look.

“You may all leave now,” The Dean dismissed everyone.

Once outside, Mrs. Oh burst into tears right in the middle of the parking lot. Sehun looked uncomfortable but he did not make a move to console her. It was Luhan’s mom who managed to reassure Mrs. Oh to a certain extent. Luhan wanted to get away from that scene as soon as he could but before he knew, both Sehun and his mother were at his home.

Luhan’s mom made some tea for Mrs. Oh who appeared to have calmed down but looked absolutely dejected. Sehun had entered the house but did not much as sit next to his mother; he made a straight beeline towards the backyard, disappearing completely from everyone’s sight.

“I don’t know what to do with this kid,” Mrs. Oh cried, “I work two jobs to support him and he brings more and more trouble every day.”

“Is it only the two of you?” Luhan’s mom asked tenderly.

“Yes, Sehun’s parents abandoned him when he was a kid,” Mrs. Oh wiped her eyes, “I was his aunt before I decided to adopt him. It’s not easy for a single person to bear the expenses of a household.Sehun says that he wants to help me but I know he does some underhanded stuff to earn whatever money he brings home.”

“He did get hurt quite bad last time,” Luhan’s mom informed regrettably.

“I want him to have a peaceful fulfilling life,” Mrs. Oh wept again,” but he makes life difficult for his own self. How do I explain him that I would rather he not bring a single penny home than robbing people like this?”

Luhan couldn’t listen to anymore of Mrs. Oh’s plight. Sehun was such an asshole that he couldn’t even console his mother who was clearly having such a hard time raising him. She was such a considerate soul to take him under her care. What kind of monster was Sehun to give such pain to her?

Luhan walked outside to the backyard and found Sehun sitting on the swing all by himself. He was staring at the moon, swaying slowly. Luhan sighed and approached him, wanting to punch him in the face but Luhan restrained himself. He wanted Sehun to weigh the consequences of his deeds and how they hurt the people close to him.

“What?!” Sehun barked at Luhan.

“Nothing.”

“Then stop sighing like you are some damsel in distress,” Sehun asserted, crabbily.

“It’s my house,” Luhan retorted, “I can do anything that I want.”

“Whatever, I’m leaving,” Sehun stood up from the swing and started to head off.

“Get a fucking job,” Luhan muttered.

“What did you say?” Sehun asked.

“Get a proper job,” Luhan articulated, “if you care about your mother so much to steal from others, earn money the honest way. Don’t hurt her anymore.”

“Are you serious right now?” Sehun hooted in ridicule, “What gives you the right to lecture me like this?”

“I don’t have the right,” Luhan spoke honestly, “I know that. Still you are not doing yourself or her any favors by being such a pathetic delinquent. If you earn half the money by honest means instead, she won’t have to cry in front of strangers because of you.”

Sehun looked like he wanted to curse Luhan’s ears off but instead he walked away as fast as he could. Luhan could tell that Sehun was embarrassed; his face was red and his fists were clenched because he knew Luhan’s words were true. Something clicked in Luhan’s brain as he walked inside and approached Sehun’s mother. He should have clearly ignored it but Luhan did not want to give up until he knew that there was nothing to be fixed.

“Mrs. Oh,” he addressed politely, “can you tell me a little more about what Sehun likes?”

 

Luhan was on a mission the next day. His mother was not happy about his suspension and maintained a strict silence from her side. Luhan apologized but decided to give her some time to get over her anger. That day however, he had different concerns.

Luhan, for the life of him, couldn’t explain why he wanted to help Sehun. He would have more time to ponder over that later. He skipped from place to place, talking to people who he thought could help him. After more than half a day of no luck, one place showed some promise. Luhan hoped that his plan would work as he made his way to Sehun’shome.

Sehun’s mom answered the door. She was such a wonderful lady and Luhan really couldn’t believe Sehun was family to someone like her. She invited him in and told him that Sehun was in his room. After she called him thrice, he stepped out with a sour face and hair forming a tent on top of his head.

“Wha-” he mumbled sleepily.

“Hey Sehun,” Luhan smiled and Sehun was further confused. He wanted to curse the latter but his mother was standing right there. Sehun knew he could not run his foul mouth like he generally used to.

“Luhan, would you like to stay for dinner?” Sehun’s mom asked, politely.

“I would love to.”

Sehun was no longer sleepy. He observed Luhan carefully who maintained a smile on his face.

“Stop smiling like that,” Sehun groaned, after his mother left the room, “you look fucking creepy.”

“Are you sure _you_ should be saying that to other people?” Luhan joked.

“Why are you being so friendly?” Sehun asked, suspiciously. “What do you want? Are you trying to blackmail me? Are you going to kidnap my mom? I don’t have any money. What I do have are very particular set of skills…”

“Ugh shut up,” Luhan threw a bundled paper on his face,” just read that.”

Sehun gave Luhan a dirty look before picking up the paper and reading it carefully.

“That’s from a car shop I visited today,” Luhan explained. “They have an opening for a junior mechanic.”

“That is of no concern to me,” Sehun carelessly tossed the paper away.

“Your mom told me you like cars,” Luhan admitted, calmly, “you will definitely enjoy working there.”

“Not listening to you.”

“I told them I will bring you around the shop to talk tomorrow morning,” Luhan smiled sweetly.

“There you go again with that pervert smile,” Sehun winced,” I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Shame,” Luhan pouted, “I guess I should really tell your mom about all of your shady activities.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sehun shrugged.

“Well, I guess I could tell her about the time you locked me up in the bathroom after stealing from me,” Luhan expressed, casually. “I will add puppy eyes for a good measure. Nobody can save you then…”

“Are you asking to get punched?” Sehun asked as Luhan _tried_ to do an evil laugh.

All throughout the dinner Sehun sat at the edge of his seat. Whenever Luhan spoke or laughed, Sehun flinched a little, scared that Luhan would let out his secrets to his mom. Luhan smirked because he finally knew what Sehun’s weakness was. He did not give the latter up, but there was no need because Sehun who was forced by his mother to see Luhan off, blurted out, “okay fine! I will go to that stupid shop with you.”

“8 AM sharp,” Luhan smiled.

 

8 AM sharp turned out to be 9AM because Sehun overslept. Luhan showed up at Sehun’s place early in the morning but had to drag the latter out of bed. Sehun threw a tantrum when Luhan locked him in the bathroom but came out ready to leave 15 minutes later.

The car shop owner wasn’t too thrilled by their lack of punctuality but he still showed Sehun around and explained what kind of work he had to do. For a few months, Sehun would work with one of the senior mechanics at the shop and learn the basics. It meant Sehun had to be polite and be open to criticism in case of slip ups.

“Does he smile, like ever?” the shop owner asked Luhan while pointing towards Sehun.

Luhan curbed his mirth and said, “Smiling would require using face muscles and he only uses his fists.”

Sehun grabbed Luhan’s collar, forcing him bow to the owner after which they left the shop.

“You’re a jerk,” Sehun pushed him on the shoulder.

“Why can’t you be nice for once?” Luhan pushed him back, “ugh, I hate you.”

Sehun sighed, “I owe you.”

Luhan smiled. “It’s alright. I’ll see you around sometime.”

Sehun nodded and waved at him awkwardly. Luhan had a huge smile on his face as he headed home. He felt like his work was done. It was up to Sehun now to not shy away from hard work. He had to do the right thing for himself and for his mother.

 

The next day, Luhan showed up at Sehun’s new workplace with delicious hot lunch.

“My mom…made me come here,” Luhan explained uncomfortably.

Sehun coughed slightly. “Thank her for the food.”

They sat together at a park bench near the shop to have their lunch. Both of them wondered what they were even doing, having lunch together when they had nothing to talk about. They could never agree on anything, they had different interests and belonged to totally different cliques.

“Do you miss the university?” Sehun asked, undeniably to cut through the awkwardness.

“I miss my friends,” Luhan nodded.

“Friends…” Sehun mumbled, “What do you do with your friends?

“Umm I guess we hang out and talk about stuff,” Luhan explained,” study together, get food to eat. You know, the usual…”

“I don’t know,” Sehun conceded, slowly.

Luhan wasn’t surprised. Sehun only had followers, no friends. Sehun looked a little saddened by the fact that he had never experienced the joys of camaraderie.

“You could join me next time I go out with my friends,” Luhan offered,” but don’t be surprised if they don’t like you. You’ve robbed them all at one point or another.”

Sehun sighed. “I will earn a lot of money and pay them back,” Sehun promised, “and you as well.”

Luhan smiled, not expecting Sehun to change his ways so easily. Sehun probably always knew what he was doing was wrong. A nudge was all that he needed…

 

The week ended in no time. Luhan was thankful because he missed his friends. Somehow during the course of the week Luhan and Sehun found a way to meet each other every day. Luhan brought him lunch a couple of times and accompanied him back home after work. Luhan also took him out to a manga book store with him, trying to get Sehun acquainted to stuff that everyone liked.

“Are they any good?” Sehun asked, flipping through a manga book.

“If you know how to read them,” Luhan chuckled before grabbing the book from Sehun’s hand and turning it over. He helped Sehun to understand how to read the panels from right to left and tittered when Sehun only looked more confused.

“You’re mocking me,” Sehun moped.

“That’s what friends do,” Luhan pulled his tongue out. He suddenly considered what he just saidand became self-conscious. However, he totally missed Sehun’s smile of gratitude. Luhan was,in all probability, the first person to voluntarily call him a friend in years.

Luhan also made sure to thank the auto shop owner for trusting Luhan to bring a capable worker. Sehun was doing quite well, according to his colleagues. They acknowledged that Sehun was interested and curious about cars, despite being a little difficult to approach.

First day back from suspension did not feel as good as it should have. Luhan was used to people staring at him but now they actually scurried away from him.

“Am I stinky?” Luhan mumbled to himself and checked his armpits. He smelled perfectly fine.

“What is wrong with everyone?” Luhan asked before sitting down in front of Baekhyun who was finishing some last minute homework on the cafeteria table. Chanyeol was happily nodding off next to him.

“Everyone thinks you were helping Sehun to steal from the lockers,” Baekhyun replied without looking at his best friend.

“I wasn’t!” Luhan protested but Baekhyun wasn’t paying attention.

“Are you mad at me?” Luhan asked, innocently.

Baekhyun took a deep breath and resumed his scribbling. Luhan felt guilty for some reason but he knew Baekhyun wouldn’t speak until he wished to. After he left, Luhan shook Chanyeol until he woke up.

“Why is Baekhyun mad at me?” Luhan asked, worriedly.

“Because you didn’t call him all week after you got suspended,” Chanyeol yawned.

“I was…kinda busy,” Luhan divulged, not meeting Chanyeol’s eyes.

“With Sehun, we know,” Chanyeol spared him a dirty look.

“How did you know?” Luhan gasped.

“We saw you both at the manga store,” Chanyeol disclosed, before drifting off to sleep, “bonding…”

Luhan stared at his friend who wasn’t being himself either. He felt so lonely that moment and decided to simply leave since nobody wanted to talk with him.

Luhan did not know what the deal was with him and Sehun. He felt guilty for forgetting about Baekhyun and Chanyeol entirely when the two of them had been his close friends since forever. What kind of role did Sehun have in Luhan’s life? Was he really so caught up in “bonding” with Sehun that he failed to spot his own friends?

Luhan was fuming silently, at himself or his friends or Sehun, he wasn’t quite sure. He felt really mad and restless about the whole thing.

“Hey,” Sehun greeted him expressionlessly as he entered the class. He was the last person Luhan wanted to see that moment.

“Ugh what? Why are you here too?” Luhan groaned. Sehun was taken aback for a minute.

“Looks like you are losing your memory,” Sehun answered, icily. “We are in the same class for Math and I always sit behind you.”

“Right,” Luhan gulped, before taking his seat in front of Sehun, “sorry.”

He could perceive Sehun’s stare on him but decided not to respond to him. He was fine when strangers pulled away from him because of Sehun but he could not afford to lose his best friends. If Baekhyun and Chanyeol did not like Sehun, Luhan would rather not be his friend.

“Did you do your homework?” Sehun asked, nonchalantly.

“Did we have homework?!”

“Yes, genius,” Sehun replied,” the professor sent out an email for it yesterday.”

Luhan could feel his blood draining out. How was he supposed to know that his first day back would be so awful? His friends did not want to speak with him, he was the new university crook and he forgot to check for any pending homework.

“Did you do it?” Luhan asked, hoping to hear a “hell no” from Sehun.

“It was easy,” Sehun shrugged.

Luhan felt actually ashamed that Sehun was ahead of him. He could try to finish it during the lecture to avoid getting in trouble. His mother was already pissed with him for being suspended. He did not want to add bad grades to his list of fuckups.

He quickly opened his textbook and read the math problem. It all looked like gibberish to him because he wasn’t a math whiz in any way and his anxiety made it worse. His fingers trembled as he saw the professor walk in the class and demand that everyone turn their homework in right away. He looked back at the list of questions and wondered how Sehun found this to be “easy.” It looked like some sort of matrix shit that Luhan could not comprehend at all.

“Take this,” Sehun dropped a bunch of stapled sheets in front of Luhan. Luhan picked them up and shuffled through them to find a completed Math homework with his name on the front page.

“Sehun…” he whispered, looking at the latter who was standing next to his bench.

“I was doing my homework,” Sehun asserted with a poker face, “and I wanted to learn it properly so I did it twice.”

“But it has my name on it,” Luhan probed, focusing back on the front page, “and what looks like a cute little sketch of a deer with antlers right next to it.”

Sehun looked away from him, only his red ears visible to Luhan. “I wanted to repay you for last week.”

“How did you know I would forget?” Luhan chuckled.

“I didn’t,” Sehun said, grumpily, “stop asking so many questions and do your own shitty homework next time.”

“You know this doesn’t cover your debt to me, right?” Luhan teased him.

“I know,” Sehun smiled a little before walking away.

Luhan sat there amazed and beaming. He didn’t know if Sehun had completely changed his ways; it was solely the first day back at the university. He wasn’t particularly sure if they could maintain a normal friendship, if that would be too odd for him and for his friends. Luhan only knew that he was not going to abandon Sehun after guiding him on the right path. He would hate himself if he left Sehun in the dark by himself.


	3. Part Three

The cutest thing about Baekhyun was that he couldn’t stay mad at Luhan for too long. Chanyeol was like his shadow and soon Luhan had patched things up with both his friends. They were shocked that Luhan had a new unconventional friend, the one who was hated by every student at every corner of the university. Luhan wanted to assure them that Sehun had changed but he himself did not know that. However, he trusted Sehun to make the right decision for himself. He had already started to see some improvements in Sehun’s behavior; he was smiling more often, he also helped Luhan with his Math homework and he regularly worked at the auto shop. For the first week back from suspension, there were no accounts of Sehun terrorizing anybody or getting into a fight.

For all one knows, Sehun had changed…

There was one person, however, who did not look so psyched with the idea of Luhan and Sehun being friends. Luhan saw Jongin glare at Sehun as the latter made his way towards Luhan’s lunch table. His eyes caught Luhan’s vision and he quickly looked away, the anger still prominent on his face.

Luhan sighed and felt further confused by Jongin’s actions. Did he or did he not have feelings for Luhan?

Luhan’s vision was blocked by Sehun sitting next to him, leaning forward on the table. Luhan sighed and returned to his food, totally missing the shocked expression on Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s face. He didn’t realize that his friends were not accustomed to Sehun as he was. It’s true that Sehun wasn’t doing the things that he did in the past but sitting with a person who had managed to terrorize them for so long was not pleasant either.

“Is this really happening?” Baekhyun blurted out, cutting through Luhan’s thoughts while tilting his head towards Sehun.

Sehun glared at Baekhyun who cringed in his seat but he made no other movements. Luhan simply shrugged, indifferent to the delicate nature of the situation.

“He won’t hurt us,” Luhan assured, like Sehun was a trained pet now who was taught not to bite anyone.

“How did this even happen?” Chanyeol asked in a small voice.

“I don’t think that’s important right now,” Luhan said, bitterly,” Jongin is pushing me away after I got back from my suspension. He doesn’t like that I hang out with Sehun.”

“Wow, possessive already?” Baekhyun teased,” isn’t that a good sign?”

“Not if he keeps ignoring me,” Luhan pouted.

“He seems to be a loser,” Sehun uttered, carelessly.

“He’s not!” Luhan protested,” Jongin is…he is…I cannot describe him in words.”

“Good, I don’t want to hear it anyway,” Sehun added quickly, “but if he really likes you, you being friends with me should not stop him. Nothing in this world should stop him from being with you. You chose your own friends and he should learn to accept it.”

Luhan and his friends were flabbergasted. It was clear that they did not expect Sehun to be so vocal about something and to actually make sense.

“This is what you should tell him,” Chanyeol told Luhan.

Luhan smiled and nodded. His friends too felt a little at ease knowing that Sehun had the capability to think like a normal person.

‘S-so are we all friends now?” Baekhyun asked, timidly, “Sehun and us?”

“If that’s okay with you guys,” Luhan beamed.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol nodded, inducing some relief in Sehun’s mind. He wanted to be a part of Luhan’s world, to spend more time with the only person who considered him a friend. He wasn’t sure what kind of people Baekhyun and Chanyeol were but he trusted Luhan to be friends with good people.

“Thank you,” Sehun mumbled, avoiding their eyes. He thought he would hear an awkward silence but instead he heard them laugh. He couldn’t help a smile when Luhan patted him on the back happily and sat with his arm around Sehun’s shoulder.

There was a strange bubbling sensation in Sehun’s stomach that he blamed on the food he was eating. It definitely wasn’t because of Luhan, sitting so close to him and looking brighter than the sun that afternoon…

“Sehun, what will you do if your love confession goes wrong?” Baekhyun asked, trying to make small talk.

“Hold a knife to their throat,” came the answer, promptly.

“This is pointless,” Baekhyun sighed.

“The knife will be pointy enough,” Sehun justified, quickly.

“That’s not how you...never mind,” Baekhyun spoke tiredly then looked at Luhan, “he definitely needs work.”

 

Luhan knew he had to confront Jongin for his strange behavior. Jongin could not be grumpy for a decision Luhan had taken so thoughtfully. For Luhan, Sehun was only a friend and Jongin had nothing to worry about. Jongin did not know Sehun like Luhan did; he did not know Sehun’s mother and the kind of family that he came from. Luhan was also one of the people who had grossly misunderstood Sehun to be an evil, heartless bully. Sehun was simply lost and confused before. He was trying to be more sincere and friendly every day.

Luhan entered his physics lab that day, spotting Jongin at his usual seat. He felt his resolution wavering when Jongin spared a quick glance at him and went back to scribbling some notes without attempting to greet him.

“Will you talk to me please?” Luhan spoke as firmly as he could,” don’t ignore me like this.”

“Why does it matter?” Jongin asked, irately, “you look like you have crossed over to the dark side now.”

Luhan grinned,” quite the opposite. The Dark Lord is fixing his ways.”

“I still don’t get how anybody could associate themselves with the likes of Sehun,” Jongin looked away.

“Is it so bad that I spend time with him?” Luhan asked, peeved,” he is not causing me any harm.”

“And what if he does?” Jongin gave him a disapproving look, “didn’t you and Sehun get suspended together for an entire week? How can you say that he is not a bad influence?”

“It’s a long story but he is my friend now,” Luhan said just as furiously, “deal with it otherwise you are free to walk away.”

“Is he really so important to you?”

“It’s not so much about him,” Luhan voiced, sadly, “I like hanging out with you but I would rather not be around someone who doesn’t let me chose for myself.”

Jongin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He looked back in Luhan’s eyes, before saying, “Fine. I will work on it.”

Luhan felt like he could finally breathe. He really did not want to lose Jongin after getting so close to him.

“Do you want to get some ice cream with me and my friends after class?” Jongin smiled and Luhan could never say no to him.

 

Jongin and his friends were nice to Luhan so he liked hanging with them. After having ice cream, Jongin insisted that he drop Luhan home but Luhan told him he was going to meet Sehun first. Jongin did not look too pleased but kept his opinions to himself. He simply told Luhan to reach home safely. Luhan skipped over to Sehun’s auto shop with a huge smile on his face.

The shop’s metal shutter was halfway lowered but there was still a light burning inside.

‘”Sehun, are you there?” Luhan called out.

“Yeah, come on in,” Sehun’s voice answered. Luhan slid underneath the metal to find Sehun bending inside the hood of a car. He looked back with a smile when he heard Luhan’s footsteps, his white undershirt stained with black grease and pants folded up to his knees. For a second, Luhan was distracted by Sehun’s broad shoulders that he had never noticed before. Sehun had nice biceps too and his torso tapered down to his hips quite gracefully. Luhan secretly felt jealous of Sehun for having such a well sculpted body.

“You look happy,” he commented.

“I love him, Sehunnie,” Luhan told him,” I love Jongin.”

Sehun froze for a few seconds, savoring the way Luhan called him “Sehunnie”. Although he wasn’t psyched that it followed after a love confession meant for someone else.

“Isn’t it too early to say that you love him?” he questioned, blankly, “You don’t know him at all.”

“We hung out,” Luhan argued,” twice!”

“Wow,” Sehun said with a bored expression,” have you both been on a date yet?”

“N-no…” Luhan stuttered, “I don’t want to rush into this.”

“Until he friendzones you,” Sehun proclaimed, sliding underneath the car on a wooden frame, “yeah that sounds like a good plan.”

“Shut up!” Luhan huffed, “what do _you_ know about courtship?”

“Enough to tell that whatever you are doing is absolutely futile,” Sehun articulated, tightening a screw.

“Why are you saying these things?” Luhan said, morosely.

“Because you’re being shallow,” Sehun expressed, sliding out and glaring at Luhan, “simply because he is handsome and has a good body does not mean he is a good person too.”

“He is!” Luhan opposed, “do you know how he is always helping others? He always lends me his lab notes. He also invites me to hang with his friends and I have a good time with them.”

“So he is a good friend,” Sehun recounted, wiping his greasy hands on a rag, “how many people have you seen him date so far?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Luhan asked, confused.

“Anybody can be a good friend, Luhan,” Sehun spoke, gravely, “including a person like me who looks at the world from an upside down perspective. What matters is whether or not he is a good boyfriend, whether he will treat you respectfully when you go out with him.”

“You don’t know anything about him,” Luhan disclosed, touchily.

“I don’t,” Sehun sighed, “and you don’t either so stop being shallow.”

“Stop calling me that!” Luhan growled.

“I won’t if you keep saying that you love him when you barely know him,” Sehun said, heatedly.

“I love him, I love him, I love him!” Luhan yelled, “Stop preaching like you understand everything.”

“Ugh forget it,” Sehun growled, “you are a lost cause.”

“Whatever, I’m leaving,” Luhan walked out of the shop.

Luhan fumed all the way on his way back home. Sehun had completely ruined whatever good mood he had before. Why couldn’t Sehun be supportive like Baekhyun and Chanyeol? How difficult was it? On top of that, he kept calling Luhan shallow as if he knew what it felt like to be in love. He didn’t and Luhan was not going to talk to him until he apologized.

“Stupid Sehun,” Luhan mumbled to himself, looking outside the bus window.

 

For the next few days, things were quite stormy between Sehun and Luhan. Sehun refused to sit with Luhan and others for lunch; he wouldn’t even look at Luhan during their Math lecture. Luhan simply rolled his eyes and kept to himself. He had nothing to apologize for; it was Sehun who was being a jerk.

The week was almost over and Luhan thought Sehun would never talk to him again. However, Sehun approached him the same morning with a white rose and a little note tucked on the stem. Luhan accepted the rose from Sehun with a confused expression who walked away almost urgently. Luhan watched until Sehun’s back disappeared and unfolded the note.

“Sorry, I don’t think you’re shallow. Thanks for being my friend,” the note read which made Luhan smile.

Luhan did not get why he kept the rose with him. He carefully perched it inside his locker behind the picture of his mom. Sehun was such a weirdo, fighting with Luhan and then bringing him a rose as a sign of peace. Luhan couldn’t help but giggle because Sehun still appeared to be grasping how friendships worked. It was kind of cute that Sehun would apologize this way. Luhan decided to forgive Sehun. Friends fight and patch up all the time.

Not so surprisingly, their mothers had become close friends too. Sehun’s mother used to send over a lot of homemade sweets to Luhan’s house that Luhan would gobble up straightaway. Luhan’s mom would invite her over for tea and snacks most evenings after work. They bonded pretty well and Luhan could tell that Mrs. Oh was thankful for the company. She looked much more relaxed and happier these days; she now had a close friend and a son who was responsible about his future.

One weekend evening, Sehun and Luhan’s mothers decided to have a dinner party at Sehun’s place. Sehun had invited Baekhyun and Chanyeol over as well and they ended up having such a great time. Sehun was laughing, he had this warm fuzzy feeling in his stomach as he chatted with his new friends and shared experiences that they could relate to. It was nice to be with people who weren’t afraid of him, who did not think he was some irresponsible freak but treasured him.

Sehun was perhaps most thankful for having Luhan in his life, the bright and beautiful Luhan who seemed so unreal and yet he was the truest thing that had happened to Sehun. Sehun wanted to express how much he appreciated Luhan’s presence in his life. Luhan had changed him completely and so naturally; Sehun was amazed that he would allow somebody to influence him so much. Sehun wanted to express his gratitude towards Luhan but he had never been too good with words. He would end up staring at Luhan for a long time, soaking up every bit of happiness that Luhan radiated from his core.

“Sehun?” Luhan called, pulling on his arm.

“What?” Sehun gulped, embarrassed that he had been caught ogling.

“Baekhyun and Chanyeol are leaving,” Luhan smiled. His other two friends were waiting by the door, thanking Sehun’s mother for the delicious food.

“Right, I’ll get my car keys,” Sehun looked away.

Sehun’s boss had given him an old car to repair and use for himself. It was lying around in the junk area for the longest time until Sehun requested to salvage the parts that were working. He worked on the car for an entire month, sometimes spending days to fix it and make it functional. It wasn’t as good as new, the paint was chipped off and the AC did not work, but it was good enough to drive people around. Sehun would never admit but he was proud of himself for restoring it on his own.

“Sehun,” Luhan giggled, “you are lost in the dream world today…”

Sehun returned to reality and found that he wasn’t driving on the road to his home anymore.

“Long drive?” Sehun asked and Luhan smiled at him.

The ride was quiet except for Luhan’s soft humming and Sehun felt like he was driving over the clouds, close to the moon as it bathed them in pure cool light. They stopped by the pier, parking their car in the lot and walking towards the wooden ledge. Luhan unhesitantly sat down by the edge, his feet hanging over the water. Sehun slowly followed him and settled down as well, admiring the reflection of moonlight on the rippling water.

“So beautiful,” Luhan murmured.

“Yeah,” Sehun agreed, glancing towards Luhan and then at the moon.

“Your mom looks happier,” Luhan smiled at him.

“She does,” Sehun nodded with a smile, “she has done so much for me.”

“I hope you’re happy too,” Luhan hummed.

“Me? I don’t know,” Sehun gulped, “I always feel this burden on my back of not being enough. I can’t walk straight, can’t breathe because I am so aware of this burden. I see nightmares and I can’t sleep for days. I am so afraid of being alone again. When she adopted me, it was like she gave me a new life. I didn’t care about my so-called parents. She was the center of my universe. I want to do so much for her, to repay her for the kindness she has shown me. And yet, I am unable to console her when she cries. I must be the worst son a mother could have.”

“You’re doing the best you can, Sehun,” Luhan consoled him.

Sehun simply shrugged.

“Do you remember your parents?” Luhan asked, carefully. He did not want to open any old wounds.

“Not quite,” Sehun spoke tenderly,” I think they visited me once before I started school. I have a picture with them. Now they are living somewhere in Europe.”

“And they never call?”

“No,” Sehun shook his head,” they send me money from time to time and my mom burns the check right away. She said she doesn’t want anything to do with them and I agree with her.”

“I don’t get how anybody could do that to their kid,” Luhan frowned.

“Maybe I wasn’t what they expected me to be?”

“That’s bullshit,” Luhan scoffed,” they were merely too selfish to ever care about you. It has nothing to do with who you are.”

Sehun nodded. “I’m utterly glad I have people who care. My mom…and you.”

Luhan had a huge smile on his face as he embraced Sehun with one arm. Sehun rested his head on Luhan’s, wondering how life could get better than this.

“I never thought we would be sitting here someday,” Luhan snickered, “ talking about personal stuff.”

“Yeah, life suddenly seems too normal,” Sehun said with closed eyes, “I’m not used to it.”

He smiled when he heard Luhan’s delicate laughter.

“You’re actually super cute, Sehunnie,” Luhan whispered, completely missing the blush on Sehun’s cheeks.

 

Luhan knew he had to confess properly to Jongin. After the whole suspension debacle and Sehun taking up a lot of his time, he had completely forgotten about the letter that he had written for Jongin. He opened the letter and read it for the umpteenth time:

_Why does your voice call for me in my dreams? These foreign sensations overwhelm me and make me crave for you. I long for a love I haven’t experienced but it’s in my bones and my soul._

_People question my ridiculousness; a guy like me who would never take a step in the dark wants to jump across this obscure bottomless valley. For you, my brain takes a backseat and my heart becomes the charioteer of all my decisions. For you, I know I can take this dangerous leap. Because of you, I know everything will work out this time._

_You drag me deeper in your web and I let myself get captured by this bliss. You remind me over and again why nobody else will ever matter in my life…_

Luhan smiled and quickly hid the letter inside Jongin’s lab report. He gave it back to Jongin and thanked him for it.

“I hope one fine day that you will do your own homework,” Jongin winked at him playfully.

Luhan was on cloud nine. If Jongin did not respond positively to his letter, he honestly didn’t know what he would do…

 

Luhan was walking around his room restlessly that evening. He played out all the possible scenarios in his head of Jongin responding back to his letter, neither of them ending well. He imagined Jongin laughing, cursing or avoiding Luhan after reading his love confession. He almost regretted giving the letter to Jongin; how on earth would someone like Jongin accept Luhan as his boyfriend?

His phone dinged and Luhan jumped up in shock. With shaky hands, he held it in front of his eyes to find Jongin’s name on the screen. Luhan really thought he would faint but he told himself that reading the rejection text would be as easy as ripping off a Band-Aid. The only thing was that it wasn’t a rejection text.

Jongin replied with a red heart and a smiling face. A red heart...does that mean Jongin had accepted his confession? Did it mean Jongin liked him too? Was this really happening?

Luhan couldn’t make himself ask these questions to his crush, not on text. He couldn’t move and he couldn’t sleep. It felt like he had climbed the tallest mountain in the world and now he couldn’t breathe. The view however was simply splendid and Luhan would not trade it for anything else in this world.

 

Jongin had accepted his letter which meant Luhan could finally ask him out. Stupid Sehun would eat his words then and Luhan honestly could not wait to tell Sehun how wrong he was about everything. He almost ran to his physics class, not wanting to wait another minute to ask his crush on a date. If he could, he would have run over to Jongin’s place right after getting his text. Luhan knew that he had to be patient though. He could not act desperate and wreck his chances with Jongin.

“Hey,” he greeted Jongin, chirpily.

“Hey you,” Jongin smiled, “had a good sleep last night?”

“Barely, I kept thinking about your text message,” Luhan sighed happily.

“You are a loser,” Jongin laughed.

“I am,” Luhan winked, “go out with me?”

“What?”

“Let me take you on a date,” Luhan proposed softly, his eyes sparkling with hope.

“Why?” Jongin asked with a confused smile.

“Because you sent me a heart!” Luhan grinned.

“That means nothing,” Jongin laughed it off.

Luhan stared quietly at Jongin for a while, his heart beating loud enough for the entire classroom to hear.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” he probed, slowly.

“Like what?”

“Do you have feelings for me?” Luhan asked, blushing.

“And why would I?” Jongin retorted.

“I don’t know, you and I have known each other for a while now,” Luhan recounted, “I wrote you a love letter and you accepted it by sending me a heart. We hung out and I thought you liked me. You get mad when I hang out with Sehun so you might be jealous of him. Am I wrong?”

“Luhan, you’re a great guy,” Jongin sighed,” and if I say so myself, you are attractive, funny and smart. I only wanted to be your friend and nothing more. Is that clear?”

“Crystal,” Luhan smiled, uncomfortably. He gathered his books and left the lab room immediately.

 

“Hey, cheer up,” Sehun poked Luhan on the shoulder. Luhan went back to Sehun’s workshop after class, quietly weeping after his conversation with Jongin. He was unable to grasp the specifics. He did see all the signs from Jongin’s side. Sehun was sitting next to him, regarding him worriedly. He had an arm around Luhan, patting him softly. Luhan did not stop crying for a long time though.

“It’s so pathetic that it’s funny,” Luhan mocked himself, wiping his eyes,” I guess I’m not dating material…”

Sehun could sense the devil on his shoulder jeering at him for being such a coward. The former school bully who did not hesitate from punching a person on their face could not as much as confess to the guy he liked. Sehun was sick of this self-mockery but most of all, he was sick of suppressing his emotions all the time.

“I would totally date you,” he blurted out but somehow it didn’t sound clumsy.

He quietly observed the shocked expression on Luhan’s face who burst out laughing the next moment. There were tears in his eyes, this time out of amusement, as he tried to digest the words Sehun had spoken.

“Sehun-ah, you’re cute,” he panted for breath,” but seriously, you don’t have to say such things to cheer me up.”

“I’m not,” Sehun replied, unfazed,” I’m not saying this solely because I’m your friend. I’m saying it because I want to be so much more to you…”

“Okay you’re freaking me out now,” Luhan chuckled nervously,” you’re joking, right?”

Sehun swiftly pulled Luhan closer and clamped his arm around Luhan’s waist. Their faces were so close that Sehun could count each and every of those pretty eyelashes that curtained Luhan’s eyes. He watched them flutter, he watched as the pink lips opened in shock and he knew he could give his soul away for Luhan without a doubt…

“I have been joking with my own heart all this time,” Sehun confided,” I’ve been joking with my emotions but I would never joke about this to you. I have loved you ever since we became friends and every moment of my life after that has been spent thinking about you. You can ridicule and ignore my words but it will never change the fact that I’m madly in love with you.  I will do anything to make sure you are happy…”

“Sehun…” Luhan spoke under his breath,” I never knew, I never even thought about it…”

“Then let me give you something to think about…” Sehun leaned closer. He was glad to see that Luhan wasn’t pulling away.

Sehun’s lips gently captured Luhan’s, a snug embrace that was oddly comfortable. His hand touched Luhan’s cheek then entered his hair, soft at first then slowly and firmly holding Luhan close to him. His other arm was around Luhan’s hips, their chests pressing against each other so hard that they could feel each other’s crazy heartbeats.

Luhan could never explain why he liked this. Sehun’s lips, oh god his lips, they were so soft and so hungry yet still affectionate. Luhan’s heart bloomed like a flower at Sehun’s kisses, like petals of a bud unfurling one by one to expose the gorgeous color hidden inside. Sehun grunted softly and something awoke inside Luhan; it was like a little vine of longing that sprouted then spread quickly all over his body.

Luhan wanted to wrap his arms around Sehun, to touch him but failed to do so because his misgivings would not let him. His nails scraped faintly against Sehun’s chest who gasped against his lips. Luhan was amazed how a simple touch was so stimulating for Sehun. He nudged Luhan’s mouth open with his tongue to share his nectar. Luhan’s eyes started tearing up as he moaned back against Sehun’s lips. His wetness was on Luhan’s lips, his mouth tasted like Sehun; Luhan never knew how intoxicating a kiss could be.

Luhan lost himself in the kiss. He admitted defeat.

Sehun had him now and he owned Luhan completely.

Sehun’s moans sounded like a string of broken pleas; a beautifully orchestrated symphony that Luhan had never heard in his life before. Their fevered breaths echoed through the walls and the time seemed to stop entirely that moment.

 

Sehun was lying in bed that night, wide awake. He later sat up and feverishly rocked back and forth. His body ached from working hard all day but he could not rest. He was never the kind to be worried, embarrassed or hurt easily; part of it was because Sehun had grown up knowing that his real parents had abandoned him. He had made peace with the fact that he was too young to cause any heartbreak to them.

Although the fact did come back to haunt him and he felt himself being a burden on his adoptive mother. He cursed for being this way but how else could he live? There was so much bitterness and anger in him which he tried to contest but he could not sleep a single night with a peaceful mind.

After a long period of suffering, he was finally endowed with Luhan’s presence. He knew Luhan was the only person that he had wanted so desperately in his life. If he were to lose Luhan, life would really suck more than it did before. After what happened that night, it felt like he might actually lose Luhan forever because of his brash moves.

“I did it, I did it…” Sehun mumbled to himself, almost in a daze. He knew couldn’t sleep that night because of the fear that surged through his veins. He kissed Luhan and Luhan did not push him away. He was  only shocked and unable to respond. Sehun would have loved to kiss him again but he knew it wouldn’t be right. He did the right thing and dropped Luhan home in his car soon after.

“Call me,” Sehun told Luhan before he stepped out. Luhan nodded shakily without actually looking at Sehun. Sehun didn’t know if what he did was right or wrong. He had no clue if Luhan would speak to him again. He felt restless and scared about what was going to happen, if anything would happen in the first place. Emotions might just dissipate before they start to arise and Sehun would never get a chance to justify the gravity of his words.

Sehun sighed and wished his mom were home that night. She was a registered nurse at the city’s hospital so she had to take odd time shifts on certain days. She wasn’t around that night but Sehun wished he could talk to her. She was such a source of strength to him.

Suddenly the doorbell rang which startled Sehun. Perhaps it was his mother who decided to come home early. It was 2am in the morning so it couldn’t be anybody else. Sehun sprinted down wondering why his mom would ring the bell. It’s possible that she forgot her keys. He opened the door to welcome her in but instead he saw his friend, his love shivering as he stood there in front of him.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Luhan muttered, almost in a whisper.

“Done what?”

“You kissed me, “Luhan bit his lip, “you told me that you love me. That was really evil.”

“But you liked it,” Sehun smiled a little.

“I never- shut up!” Luhan huffed, “stop smirking, you creep.”

“Okay sorry,” Sehun said, softly, “but do you admit you liked it?”

“I don’t know,” Luhan mumbled.

“I could kiss you again,” Sehun offered, holding his hand, “and you can make up your mind while I do. Okay?”

“Okay,” Luhan blushed. Luhan was too shy to look inside Sehun’s eyes. He felt his body being pulled closer to Sehun’s, the warmth making him hot all over. Sehun’s head rested on his, lips on his cheek planting a tender kiss and he sighed. Luhan’s heartbeats could probably be heard up till the moon when he felt Sehun’s warm fingers holding his face, a pair of dark amber eyes staring into his with an emotion that he could never describe in words.

“I want to be selfish,” Sehun whispered, “I want to kiss you till you can’t tell which set of lips are yours. I love you and I want to show you how much but I won’t do a thing against your will. I know you are confused about all of this so take your time. I will wait as long as needed.”

Luhan smiled and wrapped his arms around Sehun’s neck. He was glad Sehun understood what Luhan was going through. His confession to Jongin did fall out the same day and it would be stupid to jump into a new relationship and regret it later. Nonetheless when Sehun confessed his love for him, Luhan knew that it wasn’t merely friendship between him and Sehun either. There was something there, an intimacy that could not be feigned. Luhan did not want to lose it but he did not want to tether Sehun with unrealistic expectations, if he couldn’t get over Jongin.

“I should go home,” Luhan mumbled, pulling away from Sehun’s embrace. He didn’t really look like he wanted to leave which made Sehun smile.

“It’s late, so stay,” Sehun held his hand and pulled him inside.

They ended up cuddling and falling asleep on the couch that night. Sehun smiled as Luhan’s hand rested on his chest, sensing Luhan’s body spooning him from behind. He felt Luhan’s breath stroking his neck softly and sighed. Covering Luhan’s hands with his, he promptly set off to the dreamland.

 

“Sehun?” his mother woke him up the next day. Sehun smiled as he opened his eyes. He felt well rested that night like never before.

“I have never seen you wake up with a smile,” she stated as Sehun stretched on the couch,” you always have a face like you were made to suck on a lemon.”

Sehun giggled. “Is Luhan still around? He stayed over last night.”

“He is using the restroom upstairs,” Sehun’s mother told him,” go get freshen up yourself. I will prepare some breakfast for the two of you.”

“Okay, I love you,” Sehun said, kissing his mother on the cheek.

His mother was certainly pleased to see Sehun so upbeat. He had never behaved this way before and it put her in a good mood as well.

Sehun skipped upstairs to his room, happy that Luhan was still there. He was afraid he would scare the latter away but it looked like taking things slow had definitely been the right thing to do. He wanted to ask Luhan out on a date and slowly make his way into Luhan’s heart. He knew Luhan was inclined towards him as well otherwise he would not show up at Sehun’s doorstep late the night before.

He opened the door to his bedroom and saw Luhan standing by his study desk. Luhan was reading something when Sehun entered in quietly and decided to surprise him. Although before he could make the other guy jump up in surprise, Luhan turned around with tears in his eyes and a piece of paper in his hand.

“So were you the one who did this?” he asked, delicately. In his hands, he held the wretched letter that had made him famous all over the university. Sehun gulped as he looked at the letter then at Luhan.

Luhan’s eyes held hurt in them, threatening to spill out. Sehun cursed himself for not destroying the letter. When he first got it, he thought Luhan was playing a prank on him. Sehun did not like such pranks so he decided to humiliate Luhan in front of the whole university.

He never thought there would come a day when Luhan would be so close to him, that he would fall head over heels in love with Luhan. He should have destroyed the letter, he knew it was never meant for him. He felt pathetic for reading it over and again, telling himself that Luhan could someday harbor the same passion for him. Sehun had pinned that letter on the wall next to his bed so that he could read it every night. Why didn’t he get rid of it?

“You did this,” Luhan quietly sobbed, “I trusted you and you insulted me.”

“Luhan, this was a long time ago,” Sehun pleaded, “I have changed and we are so much closer now. This is not who I am anymore, Luhan. Trust me.”

“How can I?!” Luhan yelled, “maybe Jongin was right about you. You will always slander me. You did not think twice before doing this to me.”

“You dropped the letter in my locker!” Sehun argued.

“It wasn’t me! It was a mistake...” Luhan cried.

Sehun felt awful, watching Luhan weep because of him.

“I’m sorry,” Sehun pleaded, “you know I will never do this again.”

“You should have never done it in the first place,” Luhan sniffled, “and I won’t let you insult me again.”

“What does that mean?” Sehun asked fearfully.

“It means goodbye, Sehun,” Luhan’s words were like shards of ice piercing through Sehun’s heart mercilessly. Luhan walked out of the room before Sehun could apologize anymore. The morning that felt so bright just a few minutes ago was suddenly shrouded by dark stormy clouds.

 

Luhan wasn’t sure how he was still breathing. Two heartbreaks in a span of 24 hours was something he never wished to endure again. He tried to pinpoint which incident was more painful; his love confession being rejected by Jongin or him being betrayed by Sehun who claimed to love him. It had to be the second one. Luhan was already hurting because of Jongin but Sehun’s insensitive attitude had opened up the old wounds as well.

It was a good thing he wasn’t crying anymore though. His eyes ached and his body felt weak. He wished he had someone to talk to about this; Baekhyun and Chanyeol both said they were busy that weekend for whatever reason. Luhan couldn’t talk to his parents about this stuff either. He picked up his phone and texted the one person with whom he still had some hope.

“Are you busy? Can you meet?” Luhan asked.

“Yes, I’m in the basketball gym,” Jongin replied within seconds, “come on over.”

Luhan was expecting to get no response at all from Jongin but was pleased that he did. He wondered what Jongin thought of him after the love letter fiasco. He hoped that he hadn’t lost the friend in Jongin as well.

“You look like crap,” Jongin greeted him by the stands in the gym.

“Oh yeah? Well, you look...” Luhan took a proper look at Jongin and found no flaws, “ugh go screw your gorgeous self.”

Jongin giggled at Luhan’s words and tossed him the water bottle.

“Have you eaten anything since morning?” Jongin asked.

“No mom,” Luhan huffed, “why are you being nice?”

“Aren’t I always nice?”

“That you are,” Luhan mumbled, “makes it difficult to get over you.”

Jongin smiled, amiably. “Let’s go and eat something. I’m starving.”

Luhan was starving too which he did not notice until he saw food on a plate in front of him. Jongin snorted watching Luhan shovel food in his mouth and finish everything within minutes.

“You should stop to breathe, you know,” Jongin snorted.

“I was dying,” Luhan panted after dunking an entire glass of water down his throat.

Jongin shook his head with a smile before asking, “Everything okay with you? You have red eyes.”

“It’s because I cried all day,” Luhan murmured.

“Because of me?”

“Partly,” Luhan breathed, looking inside his eyes, “I also found out that Sehun was the one who posted my letter all over the school.”

“No way!”

Luhan nodded, sadly. “I don’t want to be his friend anymore.”

“You’re making the right choice,” Jongin spoke, firmly.

“Possibly,” Luhan smiled with tears in his eyes, “I just wish it would stop hurting so much.”

He sobbed a little and Jongin patted his head sympathetically.

“Do you know why you are so upset about him?” Jongin asked.

“I guess I spent a lot of time trying to help him,” Luhan whimpered, “and he took me for granted. He also lied about being in love with me!”

“He what?!”

“He told me he loves me,” Luhan repeated, slowly.

“Do you believe him?”

“I don’t know,” Luhan replied, his voice breaking.

Jongin could tell that Luhan was really distressed. He was kind enough to pay for Luhan’s food as well before taking Luhan back to his place.

 

It was already dark by the time they reached Luhan’s neighborhood. It was a long walk back from the restaurant but neither Jongin nor Luhan were in a hurry. Jongin tried to lighten his mood and Luhan was thankful for having him around that day.

“Listen, if it helps you in any way,” Jongin explained with a deep sigh, “when I said no to you, it not because I think less of you or anything. I am sort of in love with someone else. My friends don’t know about him yet and I want to keep it a secret for a while.”

“O-oh...” Luhan hesitated, his spirits dropping but he decided he should be happy for Jongin instead.

“I wish you good luck with this guy,” he smiled at Jongin.

“Thanks,” Jongin scratched his head, “he is kind of shy so I don’t want to put him on a pedestal. You know how my friends are.”

Luhan actually felt better knowing that Jongin was not playing with him. He was just a good guy on the inside who already had someone in his life. Things might probably be different if Jongin were single but Luhan did not want to ponder over it.

“I want to meet him someday,” he told Jongin.

“I will try to convince him,” Jongin grinned. They were standing in front of Luhan’s home now but Luhan did not want to go in. He just wanted to sit outside and enjoy the beautiful night that brought along a soothing breeze.

“Will you be okay?” Jongin asked, worriedly.

“I will find a way to be,” Luhan offered an assuring smile.

“Come here for a minute,” Jongin beckoned, embracing Luhan warmly.

Luhan sighed because hugging Jongin felt nice. He thought he would faint if this ever happened, that there would be fireworks in his stomach due to happiness. He was surprised but relieved that he felt none of that as Jongin smoothed his back with his hands.

“You are a strong, amazing human,” Jongin told him, “remember that, okay?”

“Thank you,” Luhan sighed with a smile. He pulled away from the embrace and was glad to see Jongin smile as well.

“Lu-Luhan?” a weak voice called for him, making his hair stand on its ends.

“Sehun…” Luhan responded, looking at his friend who regarded the two of them with sadness in his eyes. Luhan felt so fragile suddenly at the sight of Sehun. He had no idea why but he wanted to hug Sehun for a long time. Sehun held an envelope in his shivering hands but his eyes glared sharply at Jongin who looked back at him with the same emotion.

“What do you want?” Jongin asked, harshly.

“I am here to talk to Luhan,” Sehun spoke, calmly.

“He is busy,” Jongin scowled at him, “you need to leave.”

“I won’t until I get to speak with him,” Sehun declared, his voice growing impatient, “and it’s none of your business.”

“Maybe it is,” Jongin announced, wrapping an arm around Luhan’s shoulder possessively, “and I know for a fact that Luhan never wants to see you again.”

Sehun’s eyes trailed slowly at Jongin’s arm that was holding Luhan, his fingers resting on Luhan’s chest. Luhan wanted to say something but he didn’t know what to do. Jongin was clearly trying to intimidate Sehun and that tactic rarely ever worked against the former bully of the university. He was scared that Jongin and Sehun might end up brawling if one of them did not back out.

“I wrote you a love letter,” Sehun whispered, “to let you know how much I care. Please read it, Luhan.”

“Dude, lay off,” Jongin sighed, “he is not interested.”

“Please, just take it,” Sehun kept staring at Luhan, sadly, “I will go away if you do.”

Luhan took the letter from Sehun with shaky fingers, all the while looking deep inside Sehun’s dark irises.

“Take care,” Sehun told Luhan softly, before leaving with heavy steps.

Jongin and Luhan stayed quiet till Sehun vanished from their sight. Luhan was still quite flabbergasted by his own reaction. He was pretty sure he never wanted to have any sort of connection with Sehun then why did he freeze?

“Do you want me to get rid of that letter?” Jongin asked, gravely.

“I am going to hold on to it for a while,” Luhan affirmed, trying to smile at Jongin.

 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol finally decided to call Luhan back after he left them a innumerable voicemails and text messages.

“Where were you guys?!” Luhan growled at them the moment he sat in front of them at a coffee shop.

“On a date,” Baekhyun mentioned, calmly.

“With whom?”

“With each other,” Baekhyun raised his eyebrow, “wasn’t that obvious?”

“Eh? You two?” Luhan teased, “how did this happen?”

“Seriously Luhan, you are so blind sometimes,” Chanyeol expressed, looking at his friend with judgmental eyes, “this was not even our first date.”

“How many months has it been?”

“Four, I guess,” Baekhyun said, counting in his brain.

“Four!” Luhan exclaimed, “When is the wedding?”

“Not before yours,” Chanyeol scoffed, “last we heard Jongin sent you a heart for your love letter.”

“Yeah, that’s over,” Luhan pouted. He filled his friends in with the details of what happened with Jongin over the weekend. He left out the Sehun part of the details because it was too painful to talk about.

“Oh wow, so all this while he was only being nice,” Baekhyun concluded, rubbing his chin.

“Good hustle,” Chanyeol assured Luhan, smiling proudly, “now you can finally move on.”

“And date Sehun instead,” Baekhyun giggled.

“Sehun?!” Luhan’s heart stopped whenever his name was mentioned, “What do you mean?”

“Don’t you know?” Baekhyun said, squinted his eyes, “that guy is in love with you.”

“Totally,” Chanyeol cackled, “he is so smitten.”

“Wh- How- What do you guys mean?”

“Oh Luhan, don’t tell me you never caught him staring longingly at you,” Chanyeol spoke, “We thought he would jump on you in public someday.”

“Se-Sehun…staring?”

“He would not blink,” Baekhyun strained his eyes to imitate Sehun, “we were WORRIED!”

“He always sits beside you, never next to us,” Chanyeol continued, “I guess he knew we were dating, unlike you. Still he always had a special place for you in his heart.”

“His face would transform into this comical frown whenever you mentioned Jongin,” Baekhyun smirked, “like he were given a bitter medicine. He was so obviously jealous.”

“Oh and remember when you and Sehun had a fight?” Chanyeol asked, excitedly, “by the end of the week, Sehun was missing you so much that he followed me to the toilet.”

“What did he say?” Baekhyun asked, curiously.

“He wanted to know how to apologize to Luhan,” Chanyeol informed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “He started speaking to me while I was peeing, like a creep in the stall right next to me. I wanted to mess with him so I told him to give you a rose and a kiss. He scowled at me then walked away.”

“He did give me a rose,” Luhan frowned, while Baekhyun roared with laughter, “a white rose. So that was your idea…”

“I was kidding,” Chanyeol laughed as well, “it was hilarious that he actually did it. He is a dumbass just like you.”

“You both are made for each other,” Baekhyun declared coughing and trying to control his laughter.

Luhan gave them a disgusted look and sighed. He did not know Sehun was so enamored by him in the first place.

“What else?” Chanyeol wondered, tapping a finger on his forehead, “oh yes! There was this one time when you touched his hand and he blushed and kept staring at that spot.”

“He totally did your Math homework for most of your lectures,” Baekhyun rolled his eyes, “Even Chan doesn’t do that for me. You’re so damn lucky!”

“He said it was for practice,” Luhan mumbled.

“Luhan please, nobody likes math that much,” Baekhyun mocked, “that guy crushes on you so hard. He will be glad to know that things didn’t work out between you and Jongin.”

Luhan bit his lip, nervously.

“What if I tell you guys that Sehun confessed to me the same day Jongin rejected me?” he revealed slowly.

“Did he really?” Chanyeol gasped.

“And if I tell you that Sehun…kissed me?”

“WOOHOO!!!” Baekhyun cheered.

“And I kissed him back,” Luhan murmured. His friends were already dancing with joy, attracting attention from everybody else in the café.

“Wait, so are you guys together now?” Baekhyun asked, abruptly stopping his happy dance.

Luhan told his friends everything starting from the kiss till the time Sehun approached Luhan outside his house when he was hanging out with Jongin.

“So Sehun doesn’t know a word of what Jongin told you,” Chanyeol concluded, “and you are not sure what to do with him next.”

“Yeah…” Luhan mumbled, “What do you guys think?”

“It’s your decision, Luhan,” Baekhyun spoke, earnestly, “We like Sehun and we were secretly rooting for the two of you, to be frank. Ultimately, you need to decide if Sehun can be forgiven for what happened.”

“Did you read his letter?” Chanyeol asked.

“Not yet.”

“Read it,” Baekhyun said, Chanyeol nodding by his side, “you will know what to do then.”

Luhan figured it was the only solution to his problem at that moment.

 

That evening, Luhan sat on his bed prepared to read Sehun’s letter. After losing the staring match with the white envelope, he ripped it open and unfolded the letter. Sehun had written the letter in his charming slant handwriting that Luhan recognized from the Math homework assignments that he had been writing for Luhan:

_I know you hate me. I know you would much rather I disappear from your life. I defamed you and your anger is justified. I have no excuses. I know I was evil, I am evil. You, however, are not like me. You helped me out of my dump and gave me a new life. You gave me a purpose, you showed me things did not have to be complicated in life. You are the one who made my mother happy, not me. I will be beholden to you for the rest of my life._

_I started to admire you; at times, you are so cute that I have to fight off the urge to hug you. When you smile to me, I have to stop myself from kissing you. When you understand my brokenness, I have to tell myself I did not love you. I told myself, falling in love was not supposed to be so easy. Later, I realized that may be falling for you was the easy part. I could never decide what it was; your eyes, your smile or your words, I only knew one thing. I had fallen so deeply in love with you that you became an inseparable part of me._

_I am sorry for what I did. I wasn’t myself back then. I finally know who I am but without your love, I may not survive in this world…_

Luhan wept as he each and every word, all of them written out of immense love and admiration. He felt stupid for never realizing Sehun’s emotions, never seeing the signs that his friends were able to decipher in a flash. What’s worse, he could not decipher his own emotions for so long. The cold ache that spread all over his body after the tiff with Sehun was nothing normal. It was an extreme longing to have Sehun’s arms around him again, to have Sehun’s lips kiss him again and again.

Luhan knew this was no time to sit and cry. Sehun was not a part of his history, not yet.

 

Sehun stared vacantly at the people walking in front of him at the park. His mind was not in the same place as his body and he was jealous of them. He saw their happy faces and wondered what happened to his life. He was happy too, not long ago. Now the colors of the rainbow had faded and it was dark again. He closed his eyes, fatigue ruling his mind. Although sleep was a privilege for the negligent. Sehun was drowning in self-blame, nose deep and ready to be submerged soon. He did not know how to fix his life again.

“Hey,” a soft voice beckoned him to open his eyes.

Sehun’s eyes shot open, wondering if it was reality or he was being dragged in the fantasy world. Luhan was standing in front of him, smiling. Sehun couldn’t speak as Luhan approached him and sat next to him on the bench.

“How was work today?” he asked but Sehun was still astounded. He managed to nod slightly and it was enough for Luhan. They sat there silently for a few seconds before Luhan took Sehun’s hand in his.

“So you won’t survive without me in this world, huh?" Luhan held a teasing smile on his lips.

"Don’t...quote me on my words,” Sehun knit his eyebrows, “I am not you. I don’t know how to write emotional stuff to begin with but I tried my be-"

"I love you too," Luhan smiled warmly.

"What?! Why?"

“Why?” Luhan tittered, “Well, for starters, you are super cute. Rarely anyone in this world is genuinely cute like you are.”

“Shallow…” Sehun mumbled.

“Hey listen,” Luhan warned, “be nice or I’ll walk away.”

Sehun scoffed. “What else?”

“You make me want to take care of you,” Luhan smiled, “not because you are unable to do so yourself. Because I want to, I like to. I want to hold you when life gets difficult.”

Sehun wanted to smile but he maintained a blank expression. Still, Luhan could see the edges of his lips twitching with glee.

“You throw tantrums and I want to handle them,” Luhan voiced, softly, “you are smart and I want to know what you think.”

“This is miles away from a proper confession,” Sehun rolled his eyes, “do you really call yourself a writer?”

Luhan raised his eyebrow. “Then you should say what you like about me.”

“I don’t like a single thing about you,” Sehun muttered.

“Really?”

“Yes really,” Sehun rambled, “I hate your constant whining, your annoying habits and your clueless nature. You can’t even do Math like what is up with that? You are so dramatic, cheesy and I hate your dumbass brain.”

Luhan pouted and looked away. Sehun clenched his fists as he saw tears in Luhan’s eyes.

“I also hate it when you cry,” Sehun spoke, tenderly, “More than all the things I said before. I want to punch somebody just so that I can make you happy.”

“You clearly don’t know what makes me happy,” Luhan laughed between his sobs.

“Then tell me what does…” Sehun urged. He hesitated before taking Luhan’s hand in his.

“You do,” Luhan resolved with a smile, “since the time you and I have gotten close, everything is different. And perfect. I don’t want anything else.”

“Cheesy,” Sehun sulked, “but I love you too.”

“Cute,” Luhan whispered against his lips and watching him smile as well.

This time, Luhan was the one who initiated the kiss. He was enamored by the same heady desire that he couldn’t believe existed in this world. Sehun probably had the softest pair of lips in the entire world and he held a softness inside of him as well. His warm hands wrapped around Luhan, holding him close and reminding Luhan that this was the love he had been writing about. This was the love he had been waiting for…

Luhan wanted to write a countless poems and love letters for Sehun and Sehun only. He would never have to struggle trying to get his thoughts on paper. Sehun always brought out emotions so easily in him, whether it was rage, distress or adoration.

To him, Sehun himself was a special emotion, a breathtaking experience.


End file.
